Hey football fans!! (that would be American Football – FYI)
Guess whose team won the Super Bowl!!! Oh yea, that’s right – yours truly. Some of you may recall my disclosure as a Raven’s fan in a video a while back. In that video masterpiece I explained that I am a fan of that team because my favorite color is purple. This isn’t the sole reason however, ’cause Ravens are just cool – period. Hey, you Edgar Allan Poe fans know what I’m talking about.
Well, it was an exciting Super Bowl at my house – I threw a decent party and it was a lot of fun. There were some 49er fans in the mix – I kinda wanted to feel bad for them – but just couldn’t feel anything but incredible, self-satisfied, near orgasmic joy.
It was especially gratifying in light of the constant reminder that my beloved team was gonna lose – which was practically a certainty. Since the first playoff game I would be accosted by random football aficionados while sportin’ my awesome Raven’s NFL jersey, who would try to give me helpful tips on how to handle the disappointment of the Ravens certain and inevitable loss.
I especially remember the affable yet annoying razzing I endured from the check-out clerk and the entire line at the Wal-Mart as they remarked on what was most assuredly was going to be a glorious victory for the Denver Broncos. In jovial mock sympathy for my misguided loyalty, my fellow grocery line-mates only hoped the Ravens would not lose too badly; so that I might avoid a truly painful game day afternoon.
I have decided to track each of them down and demand a written acknowledgement that they were wrong and I was right.
Then I am going to email the various sports show hosts and sports commentators and inform them that I OBVIOUSLY know far more than they do about football.
So rejoice fellow Ravens fans… our victory is complete! Even the “power outage” did not result in a defeat of our noble team.
… oh and Joe Flacco is like way hotter than Colin Kaepernick…