Sorry for lack of posts lately

I am sorry I have been lax in my duties to the many loyal readers of my humble blog.

In addition to studying for the US Tax Court exam, I have acquired some challenging tax cases recently that need my attention.

After next week regular updates should resume.

In the meantime I found this interesting article – 2 Seattle men stopped at border for illegal candy

At least we know our boarders agents are keeping us safe from the hidden dangers lurking in innocent looking confections. I don’t know about you but I will sleep easier knowing that no menacing, toy concealing chocolate eggs will endanger me or my loved ones. – Canadians, they’re wily.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker tried to warn us –

Retraction – action

In Friday’s post FINALLY FRIDAY!! – the end of the week from Hades I called into question a certain lawyer’s competence and suggested he may have acquired his law license in a box of snack food.

On advice of counsel, I have been encouraged to retract my earlier statement and apologize to those I may have offended.

So… I would like to formally apologize to Frito-Lay the makers of Cracker Jack since 1997. I in no way intended to insult the delicious, crunchy popcorn caramelly goodness that is Cracker Jack by insinuating that your fine product had any culpability in the degradation of the legal profession.

The real culprit is …wait I am getting a call, what? I should just shut up before I get into anymore trouble? No, I did not realize since becoming my attorney you have twice as much gray hair as you did before I darkened the door of your office. …Really, you had to hire a shrink to cope with the stress. Is that why there is a pain and suffering reimbursement charge on my monthly retainer? I guess that is fair considering the nightmares and all. Well, okay then…

Uh – I am just going to reiterate that I am sorry Frito-Lay and leave it at that.

FINALLY FRIDAY!! – the end of the week from Hades

Friday is usually a bittersweet day, it is the end of the workweek which forces me to wait two whole days before I can start calling people and scheduling meetings.

However, this Friday I experiencing the same emotional response I see exhibited in most of the people I work with – happiness that the week is over.

Here is an example of what this week was like – during an online meeting when I was discussing the tax implications of an existing net operating loss carry forward on the client’s tax situation – an attorney had this keen observation – this is a direct quote – “The net operating loss isn’t reducing the tax liability at all. It is only reducing the Adjusted Gross Income.”

I sat in stunned silence for about 20 seconds – for those unfamiliar with tax terminology, the most effective way to reduce a tax liability is by reducing adjusted gross income. It is kind of like saying – I am not cheating on you I am just having intimate relations with your best friend.

After internally debating on the proper response, like – Uh, did you ride the short bus to law school? OR I did not realize that Cracker Jack was giving out licenses to practice law as a prize. I settled on explaining to Mr. I. Stupid Moron Esq. III, of the illustrious firm of Moron, Dimwit & Asinine LLP, his confusion on the concept of self-employment tax versus income tax. (The I. stands for Idiot – FYI)

Fortuitously, he was on chat instead of voice so I could preserve the moment for posterity with a screen capture.

So for once I am looking forward to the weekend. I plan on alternating between crying and drinking as a coping strategy.

Also, Laura and I are working on some fun videos of some of the more insane moments around the office. They should be out soon.

I leave you with Katy Perry

What a day!

Well it was an exhausting day, it was particularly taxing – get it taxing… like as in tax – I work in tax law – aren’t puns fun! Yeah I know – I am hilarious. What do you mean, in my dreams I’m hilarious?

Since I am so tired at the moment I will post something deep and meaningful tomorrow.

I would also like to apologize again for the North Korean Pop song. It was an exercise in unneeded suffering. However, even though it might have been a painful experience we all learned some valuable lessons on North Korean culture.

Such as:

1. Pop stars in North Korea wear more clothes than their Western Counterparts.

2. When you do a good job in the factory in North Korea your co-workers will decorate you with pretty flowers.

3. Song titles don’t always translate well from Korean to English.

4. That woman can sure make a lot of cloth.

I leave you with the distinguished cultural anthropologist Alfred Yankovic’s interpretation of current western Pop Music/ Stars.